A famous man once said “Man is a social animal” but, let’s face it, not all of us are not equally socially inclined. Some of us are wall flowers who like to keep to ourselves. And when put in situations where we have no choice but to step out of our comfort zones, the awkwardness and discomfort becomes evident. But there are ways to deceive the eye. Here are some simple, basic tips to help make you appear more confident than you actually are:

Eye Contact:
It’s important to establish eye contact when you want to capture some ones attention, but don’t stare directly into the other persons eyes unless you want them to think that you have boiled eggs for eyes! Have a friendly, relaxed gaze. Lightly shift your gaze to parts of their face close to the eye region, like their eyebrow or the bridge of the nose so it looks as if you’re looking at their eyes.

Handshake:
Remember this—a limp handshake is like holding a dead fish. The idea is to get a firm grip on the other person’s hand (not their wrist or fingers). Don’t squeeze as this represents a dominating personality. Sweaty hands can be a sign of nervousness so keep them dry.Two up and down movements are usually the norm.

Posture:
Shoulders back. Chin up and stomach in. Stand at ease with your feet slightly apart. Lean slightly towards a person when talking to them but don’t invade their personal space. While walking, remember to swing your arms naturally and not to drag your feet.

Hand Movements:
Don’t keep your arms folded across your chest as it conveys defensiveness. Let your arms hang loosely along your sides and gesticulate from time to time. Not too wildly though. Simple light movements should do.

Voice:
Modulate your voice. Intonate. Speak clearly, in your natural tone and at a medium pace without sounding deliberately slow. Match the enthusiasm and excitement levels in your voice with that of the person you’re talking to. Take a moment to think before speaking to avoid the “uh’s” and “um’s”.

Smile.Flash your pearly whites. Don’t over do it, your smile mustn’t look forced. Smile with your eyes.

Things to avoid:

• Playing with your hair or jewelry
• Shifty eyes
• Biting your fingernails
• Fidgety behavior like tapping your feet
• Picking lint off your clothes

All of us aren’t born with oodles of self-confidence. Most of us need to work at it. These pointers will help you become more aware of your body and its movements and with a little practice all this will come naturally to you. You won’t need to put on an air of confidence; rather you will be more confident.

By Melanie Lewis